I’ve been struggling with this notion of “living my dreams” and “pursuing what I love”. I mean, I dream of doing some pretty great things and I hope I get to live those dreams out, but I can’t just drop everything to pursue them. Maybe some people can, but I have responsibilities and people who depend on me…so right now, I need to do what is necessary.
This is what my necessary looks like, and I’m not super excited about it. I don’t jump out of bed, chomping at the bit to get to the necessities of my day. I am NOT, let me repeat that, N.O.T. a morning person. But, I haul my cookies out of bed at 5:30am, five days a week to go to work. (I have a pretty good job, but it’s a job, not a passion.) I also hate being a slave to routine, but, those five days a week look very much the same. I get up at the “butt crack of dawn” (my friend Dawn hates it when I say that.) get ready, drive an hour, do my job all day, drive another hour and then I’m home, ready to start the process all over again the next day. Sometimes it seems very much like Joe vs. the Volcano. Quite often I feel like I’m dragging myself through the week just trying to survive to the weekend. I know this sounds like a giant pity party; but stick with me, I’m going somewhere good with this.
Here’s the thing about what I just said and how awful I made it sound; if I keep it in proper perspective, it’s really not so bad…for now. I do these things for some very good reasons, but I won’t have those reasons forever. And when the reason is gone, the thing that was a necessity becomes a choice. If I start making plans and taking small steps to chase my dreams and loves now, I may actually get to engage in them a little ways down the road. If I can just focus on the fact that I’m doing the necessary things now so that I can choose to pursue the dreamy things later, the necessary things become part of the dream; they are stepping stones to what I really want to pursue.
And that dragging myself through the week part; I just need to check myself on that. I need to do a better job recognizing and relishing in the bright spots during week and not letting all that routine and necessity bury them.
So, here’s to my necessities and the dreams they are ushering in!